If Your Soul Hurts, Transform Yourself

Meditation with Mataji Shaktiananda


How many breaths could you attend to?
 How many?
 But attend to yours.
 Attend to your breath, calm it and make it respond to you,
respond to your body, respond to your mind.
 Do not require any answer,
 let that answer be your breath of life,
let your breath respond to your breath of life.

Understand that meditating
is like a way of installing yourself in you.
 You install yourself and, from there, being who you are, you connect.
 And you find yourself in life, it is life.
 Or what would it be? What you do or what you are?

Breathe, deepening your breaths.
 Each breath responds to what you are and
you install yourself with each breath,
 until you achieve a subtle perception of yourself,
 from that form, that weight, that structure,
 that organism that you breathe so much,
 until it is so subtle, that it should not even weigh you down.
That substance, that soul, so full of you,
 and that yes, should not weigh you down.

If it weighs you down, breathe.
What has it brought?
What is it that it carries, so that it manages to weigh on you?
And breathing like this, also blow a little.
Breathe and blow. Breathe and blow.

The soul is not felt,
 the soul feels.
 Breathe and blow.

You have to lighten it from the weight you have given it.
Do you know with what? With what you feel.
You might ask yourself,
how much have I felt?
What have I felt?
Who have I felt?
 Breathe and blow.

And what have you wanted to feel?
Fear or pain?
 Trust and love?
 What? Why? For whom?
What have you preferred?
What have you decided?
What have you chosen?
What have you discerned?
Breathe and blow.

You will ask yourself, what does the soul know?
About you, everything.
Do you know what it doesn’t know?
About the others, especially when those other souls
do not know how to be souls, they become clouded, darkened,
blinded, broken, cursed.
Breathe and blow.

Every breath ignites your soul more.
Each conscious breath clarifies more.
Every thought in light enhances your soul.
Every action in good faith enriches it.
 Each breath you take causes your soul to nourish the consciousness.
Each force of light gained, installs you in the Being.

What do you want? What have you wanted?
What have you done?
What have you produced?
 What are you creating?
 What is happening to you?

And you will say, if my soul hurts…
Reform yourself, transform yourself,
it can always be done.
Goodness in blessing, is infinite.

Gather your breath, set it aside,
hold it there, intact.
Do not let anything enter or leave, maintain yourself,
until the pulse opens, and you will be opening yourself.
 So it will be, more and more,
 as long as you look for it, as long as you want it,
 as long as you need more.

Whoever has installed you here, is installed in you.
 And it is everything. And it is everything. Everything.
 How could one not love you?

Reserve your breath, contain it.

Gratitude, constancy, strength.

Om Namaha Shivaya